Strange Times


This installment of Life in the Philippines should be less depressing than the last, where I lamented over a tedious travel schedule and housing confusion. I want to now highlight some differences (cultural or otherwise) between living in the US and living over here. Some of these are funnier from a distance, but should nevertheless prove insightful (or entertaining) to my readers.

Modes of Transportation

Back in the states, I got around only by car. We drove everywhere, including the epic 0.5-mile journey to Publix for groceries. Here in Boracay, the mode of transportation is located at the end of your lower legs. Walking is how we get around. We walk several miles a day just to get groceries or buy household items like toilet paper or toothpaste. We have to be careful how much we buy at any given time because we’ll be carrying our bags all the way back home. This is especially arduous when buying big jugs of water, which happens every 3 days or so.

There is one other mode of transportation here, which we use mainly when the weather turns sour: the motorized trike. This is basically a motorcycle (dirt bike, more properly) with a metal sidecar attached. The sidecar seats up to four people and is enclosed, which is useful during a sudden rain shower, and often they mount subwoofers underneath the carriage to supply thumping renditions of “Call Me Maybe” and other top-40 tracks during the wet commute to Budget Mart.

Doing so much walking has proved beneficial (and healthful, if one avoids the congested and polluted main thoroughfare) as I’ve lost buckets of weight without doing any scheduled exercise. Although I haven’t stepped on a scale, I’d estimate a good 15 pounds have been shed in the first 3 weeks. I attribute this to the volume of walking, as well as the next topic.

The Food

One reason we chose Boracay Island is the heavy influx of foreign visitors. Being a popular travel destination for Europeans and Asians means more variety in the type of food offered on the island. There’s Italian food, Filipino, Korean, American, etc. And while I don’t wish to offend anyone, my opinion of the food here is that it’s the worst of all worlds. Most of the population here consists of foreigners but all of the cooks in these restaurants are local Filipinos who have never traveled to those other regions to discern what these foods and dishes should actually taste like. This means everything you order will taste more than a little “off.” That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed some meals here, it’s just a surprising event when it happens. There’s a place called The Pancake House that serves up good grub, and you get what you expect there. It should be noted that in Boracay, nearly all restaurants are outdoor types and run along the beach. Most have concrete floors covered in sand and have mounted fans on the walls in lieu of air conditioning. The cheapest is Andok’s, where you can get chicken and rice for about $1.50 US. Pretty tasty too.

So that covers the restaurant scene, but what about just buying your own groceries and cooking at home? Well, that’s mainly what we do. There are three small groceries on the island, (Budget Mart, Crafts of Boracay & Price Lite) which are each about the size of a gas station back home. The selection of products in these establishments is quite limited, and even by US standards, severely overpriced. We’ve learned (the hard way) that Boracay is very expensive for a Filipino province. They mark up just about everything due to all the foreigners vacationing here. Once you’re on the island, you’re kind of stuck and are forced to pay whatever is required to get by.

There are two main wet markets (both confusingly called The Talipapa) but by western standards, these are huge letdowns. The meat and fish lay in the open sun without ice and everything is covered with flies. Now I have eaten that meat (once, because we were desperate) and haven’t fallen ill so perhaps God has fortified my intestinal tract against such unsanitary practices. Even still, I wouldn’t wish to press my luck. So what do I eat here? Just about everything so far, but lately I’m sticking to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and rice with chicken. Melanie and her brother Brian do the cooking, and they do a great job with the limited supplies we have. The food situation should improve greatly in the coming weeks, but that’s going to be another blog post.

Weather

This is a fun topic. I’ve been very surprised by the mild temperatures here in Boracay. It’s generally not very hot most of the time and stays between 75-80 every day. So while that was a nice surprise, the humidity is what some might call “ridiculous.” Even early in the morning, when temperatures are very cool, you can’t walk outside without sweating profusely within minutes. There’s really nothing like it. Back in the US, and especially in Tennessee, we have a specie of humidity, but what I’ve experienced in Boracay is much more difficult to describe to westerners because it simply doesn’t exist back home. I don’t leave home without my “face towel,” which is what locals call a washrag. And by the time I return home (even in cool weather) the towel is completely soaked. At this stage, I think I’d prefer the heat over the humidity, which at times is so thick that it’s hard to breathe (I mean that literally).

Chores

For those who are wondering how Melanie does laundry over here, we use a plastic washing machine and a clothesline out on the balcony. The washing machine is a tiny thing and attaches to the outdoor faucet with a tube running out the other side (you drain it manually, using gravity). It only has one function really and that’s to gently tumble the clothes around after Melanie fills it with water. She then wrings them by hand after rinsing and hangs them up to dry. Pretty old-school setup but it works. Our kitchen is also outdoors, although the sink and fridge are inside. The air conditioner return unit is mounted on the balcony wall so when it’s running, the entire kitchen area is bathed in stifling heat. So the general rule is avoid running the AC when someone is cooking to avoid giving them a heat stroke. Mosquitoes have not been a problem yet, although I’ve killed two giant cockroaches and ants were loitering a bit before we put down some chalk. The main pest is the lizard, because they’re hard to catch and just pop up without warning. I was showering the other day and reached for the soap to find two black eyes staring back at me. The lizard then opened his pink mouth and stuck his tongue out. I think he was mocking me. At least they have a sense of humor over here. The cockroaches are harder to get along with. Everyday chores are a little more difficult (and physical) over here. I have to brush my teeth with bottled water because the tap water is not safe. You have to carry everything as well, but I already covered that one under transportation.

Housing

Apartments are crazy expensive in Boracay, around 3X higher than the other big cities in the Philippines. We stay in a 50 square meter one-bedroom apartment (newly built) that’s $750 US per month, or 30,000 pesos. Our place is a two-minute walk from the beach, which accounts for the higher price. But it’s the only place we could find with a vacancy (we took the last unit they had too). Our unit is called a “basement” apartment because from the street, it’s just a gate. You open the gate and walk down a spiraling staircase to the landing, which opens into the unit. I was worried about the place flooding but after several heavy rains, it hasn’t been a problem.

Some other surprises (to me) about Boracay:

-       The population here is about 90% Korean. Not sure why.
-       If you order a chicken sandwich and ask for fries instead of mashed potatoes, they will tell you “no.” You can’t make substitutions. You can only have the side dish that’s prescribed on the menu.
-       Late night talk shows like Leno, Letterman and Conan are broadcast in the middle of the day.
-       The UFC is really big over here and events are broadcast on regular TV, opposed to expensive pay-per-views back home. The main sports network, on which they are shown, is called “Balls.” So yeah.
-       The main road floods every time it rains and no one cares. They just walk through it. Back home these roads would be considered impassable, but no one bats an eyelash over here and they might even look at you funny for hesitating.
-       Security guards carry firearms. Even the ones walking around grocery stores. We have two security guards for our apartment building and they both carry guns (nice fellas too). Back in the US guards carry walkie-talkies. Over here they’re like secret service agents.

So that’s it for this installment. Hope you enjoyed it.